A Stranger in Paradise (it’s stranger in paradise)

Well,

I joined this slower/ more manageable site after joining chat room 3 that’s for the over fifties for those who haven’t ventured that far yet. I freely admit to being a novice of such things but after hearing mention of Chatrooms several times and incidents resulting from such Chatroom usage decided to give it a go; well I would wouldn’t I? Well it didn’t take long for me to see the error of my choice. I logged on and watched for a while trying to get the gist of the proceedings but because what you see doesn’t predate your visit its easy to make mistakes and wade in a light hearted funny way when everyone else is commiserating with the loss of a loved one. After a few of those faux pa’s I started to get a reputation from the regulars who always seemed to be on when I was. I tried to keep up with the group but even this forum for the over 50 beat me time and again with their responses it was like playing snap with a stutterer. I often had a witty reposte but by the time I’d found where the L was they had moved on. I accept that the size of my hands covers almost 50% of the keys when looking for the H or G but when I moved them apart to get a better shot the keyboard takes on a widescreen effect with my new glasses resulting in me frantically looking for the Q or P before making a stab at it. By the time I had composed and typed my witty and cutting reply the forum had moved on no matter what degree of urgency controlled my efforts leaving my additions scattered with my form of slpelling
By the time the corrrections were done I was founr sentences behind. I persevered as only a lad with a comprehensive school background could and got much enjoyment from my efforts. Some members even LOLed me, which I understood to mean Lots of love a truly wonderful sentiment directed at one so new.
This of course was the forerunner of other abbreviations (I wonder why that is such a long word)? anyway, I soon had lots of little boxes pop-up from other posters asking me ASL? And S&M+B I think its something to do with their hobbies, I think. I had many welcome me by asking M/F? Which my daughter told me means Male or Female well when that comes on a usually say “I’ll ask me Mom” which I thought was funny even though I have to give the same answer many times a session.
So you can see why I joined this forum which I hold in high esteem under the guidance of the site monitors (did I mention I was an Ink monitor at school) not that I’m saying it would help me here. But…

Well this morning I logged in and had a reasonable session maybe because the others had taken their medication I stood a better chance, after about ten minutes I was keeping up only four lines back in perfect time with the other slow readers.

A guy came on and asked,

“I’ve broken my Ray bans do you think I could get the lens replaced?

The question went un-answered for a few lines before I posted

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah turquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah turquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

Yes.

A few lines later he said

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah turquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah turquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah
Where should I get them repaired?

Well I thought if you’re bright enough to have a pair of Ray-ban you should no to go to an Optician, so with a modicum of sarcasms I said

Send them to me.

You get the picture now a few unrelated sentences later he came back

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

“You can fix glasses, these are expensive you know?”

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah
I said

I have a special tool kit, well not exactly a toolkit it’s a pair of pliers

With that he seemed to have a fit, more so when I said

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah turquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

I also have a new vice as well;

If you had been there I’m sure you would have enjoyed it as much as me.

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

I asked

How many pieces is the lens in

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

He said

Two

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

I said

Have you tried an elastoplast?

He left the room in a huff I don’t know why I was only trying to help.

Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah Blah blah blah blah S&M blam sweety blah get you blah blah torquoise blah Sandy blah Samson blah

So you see I’ve left a mark in the chatroom made a few acquaintances and made arrangement to meet up with a bunch of “Swinging adults who said they would show me around and teach me stuff. What a smashing site this is turning out to be can’t wait till “Sandy” will enlighten me. I’m almost as excited as him thinking about the weekend so there it is;
I think my whole world is about to change and it’s all down to ‘JustChat’.

Kindest regards,

Langstraat