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I’m sure you’ve all a tale to tell about this topic; let me tell you about my latest:
I’ve had some time off to help my daughter and boyfriend move into their first house. It’s an end Terrace almost 100 years old with high ceiling etc. I bought them a bedroom suite, they choose it from IKEA and although not to my taste they were very happy with it. I went round to help ‘Nig’ assemble it. Two wardrobes and two chest of drawers. When they were placed against the wall there was a larger gap at the top than the bottom but by using the levelling device in their bases we were able to get them both plumb to the wall perfectly. After we had assembled both and hung the double mirrored doors it was apparent that when the doors were opened that the carcass needed to be bolted to the wall to stop it toppling over. I sent Nig to my house to fetch my hammer drill and rawplugs and while he was away managed to mark the back wall where the holes would need to be drilled. I decide to save a bit of time by lowering one of the wardrobes to the floor to give us drilling space. I undid the levelling screws to make it easier and reached up to my full height and then some and eased the wardrobe towards me bracing to take the weight and carefully adjusting my grip whilst trying to hold the full length doors closed with my thumbs. As it slowly moved towards me and I realised what a weight it was; almost beyond my capability but just manageable if you get me. I was just at the point of no return to an upright manner but still in control for the final lowering to the floor. I braced myself for the final manoeuvre making sure my feet would be clear. I altered my hand’s positions and took a deep breath. It was just as I was about to start the final decent when I noticed that the other free standing wardrobe’s nearest door slowly started to swing open briefly reflecting my startled image in its pane. Transfixed by this mirrored sweating image in the door I was unaware that the other door had followed suit until they were both now fully open. I breathed a sigh of relief as the door stopped its movement and then watched as if in slow motion the wardrobe started to move in an arc past me but somehow maintaining my image in an upright manner. The whole wardrobe crashed to the floor with the loudest bang recorded in a confined space. I was mortified still holding the other one unsure whether to lift it back to upright or lower it to the floor. I took the latter option. The wardrobe had broken both mirrors and damaged the carcass; a right off. I was shocked/ totally gutted. When Nig came back I could see the disappointment in his face enough to say what the F–k have you done. (Couldn’t really blame him. I would have thought the same) anyway to bring a close to this tale. When my daughter Jennie came home she phoned IKEA and told them about the near fatal accident, she mentioned that Nig’s nephew who had been playing in the bedroom prior to the assemble was okay, it had missed him (well it did) their customer service manager said to bring the damaged wardrobe back for them to inspect.
The end result; IKEA replaced it free of charge and gave them a £20.00 voucher to compensate.
As with Mrs Wayne Bobbit; I had on this occasion bitten off more than I could chew and left the build of the replacement to Jennie and NigSo the moral of the story is
Let a wardrobe come crashing down on you to get a free £20 voucher from ikea :lol:
Dear Langstraat,
On a point of accuracy, Mrs Wayne Bobbit used a knife to sever her husband’s organ, not her teeth as you erroneously suggested.
Yours pedantically,
Col. Blimp (Ret’d)
Tunbridge WellsDear Mr Pedantic,
You’re dead right. I can do a web search to and refresh my memory when needed but I choose to use artistic licence to add a funny punch line to end my tale.
Somehow I dont think “I cut off more than I could chew” would have fitted so well.I don’t think John and Lorena Bobbitt would mind this alteration to the facts, the end result was the same whatever the method of removal was.
Suzy,
An alternative moral could be:
Operate within your capabilities. see the ref. “Bit off more than I could chew”
There are companies out there that will take a responsible attitude and understand that self assembly products will sometimes be beyond the scope of all users and accept that sometimes the end result will not be as expected; whether it’s an ability problem or in my circumstances an accident. The assembly instructions failed to state that the carcass should be secured to a rigid wall before the doors were hung. It was only after they were in place that the danger was evident. I am sure their instruction sheet is being corrected as I type.
The fact that no one was injured is fortunate. A pair of mirrored doors could do serious damage.
If IKEA had not been so understanding then my credit card company would have reimbursed the value of the wardrobeThe tale was written to add a little humour to what was a serious incident and placed in the section of the forum for such items.
@langstraat wrote:
Dear Mr Pedantic,
You’re dead right. I can do a web search to and refresh my memory when needed but I choose to use artistic licence to add a funny punch line to end my tale.
Somehow I dont think “I cut off more than I could chew” would have fitted so well.I don’t think John and Lorena Bobbitt would mind this alteration to the facts, the end result was the same whatever the method of removal was.
Dear Mr Longstreet,
Thank you for your prompt reply. I beg to differ and would point out that the method of removal is of vital importance – as any employee of Pickfords will no doubt confirm.
As ever.
Yours pedantically,
Col. Blimp (Ret’d)
Tunbridge Wellsme i rent a house with cupboards all ready built in saves all the effort of diy
Alan,
Good for you.
Sheltered accommodation can be very reassuring
So, I take it that you don’t have a D.I.Y tale to share with us :)
Dear Col. Blimp,
I’m delighted that you have taken such an interest in the efficacy of my prose and seen fit to correct the salient points as you’ve seen fit. I guess the status afforded to you as forum host has empowered you to look after such a dispirit collection of members in such a way; to which I take the opportunity to thank you. No doubt I must have agreed to these rights when I joined your chat-room; however I believe we may be at cross purposes and at this early stage of our relationship wish to respectively inform you that my early reference was to a: Mr & Mrs Wayne Bobbit-Downe of Cirencester Crescent Bath. I apologise for making this unclear in my original posting and hope this clarifies the situation.
I understand that Mr. Bobbit-Downe can be seen quite often on late night adult channels and that his new appendage appears to operating to the satisfaction of his group of fluffers.I hope you will allow me to continue to make posting to your site.
I feel safe in the knowledge that should you afford me the honour to continue you will monitor my efforts to communicate with others of your clique in a more appropriate and informative manner without duplicity.Kindest regards and my most sincere apologises for any upset caused by my most foolish omission.
Langstraat.
I know you care
Dear Mr Longstreet,
Thank you once again for your by now customary speedy response.
Without wishing unduly to frustrate your attempts to apologise, I feel that I must inform you that there is no ‘Cirencester Crescent’ in Bath. Indeed there is no ‘Cirencester Crescent’ in any town or city on the UK mainland.
As ever,
Yours pedantically
Col. Blimp (Ret’d)
Tunbridge Wells
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