call centres

Anyone ever worked in a call centre will apreciate this!

Samsung Electronics

Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking
about”.
Caller: “On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it
clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall
socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
number for Jack?”
Operator: “I think you mean the telephone point on the wall, sir”.

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: “Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me
when I am travelling in Australia?”
Operator: “Doesn’t the product give you a clue?”

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
“If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?

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Directory Enquires

Caller: “I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in
Cardiff please”.
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling
correct?”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the
‘B’ fell off”.

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller: “Yes. That’s what it says on the label; Woven in
Scotland”.

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:” I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up
the window to write the number on”.

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Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop”.
Customer: “OK”.
Tech Support: “Did you get a popup menu ?”.
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer: “Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote
‘click'”.

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Tech Support: “OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

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Caller:
“I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I
need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
back again?”.

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Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with
WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of trouble?”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared.”
Operator: “Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing?”
Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I
type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
Operator: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s
plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely
into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?”
Caller: “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right
angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator: “Dark?”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not?”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power……… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got
it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
your computer came in?”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too f*%king stupid to own a
computer!!!!!”