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1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a Sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don’t miss Match of The Day.4. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. £100 extra.5. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.6. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.7. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.8. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?A. “I hope we can still be friends.”
B. “I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.”
C. “Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU.9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.10. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.Evaluating Results:
If you answered “A” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
really are a man.If you answered “B” more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re a little
confused.If you answered “C” more than 7 times, “YOU DA MAN!”
@soulie wrote:
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A good old S H A G
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
your fantasies
3. You time your orgasm so that:
you can still go to the pub!
4. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
Stupid, I mean, just move onto the next!
5. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
GREAT, cos you can buy that pint you’ve been wanting for the past week!
6. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
ME
7. Foreplay is to sex as:
Security for the woman!
8. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?S H I T, I have to start W A N K I N G again!
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
Is an old woman walking home from Bingo, not aware you’re behind the trees ready to pop – out. (Excuse the pun)
10. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
Good, if you own a Vileda super – mop. Not only that, but the kettle is near too!
Evaluating Results:
If you answered “A” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you haven’t come yet!If you answered “B” more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re littler than little!
If you answered “C” more than 7 times, “YOU DA MAN!” (Is what Tommy says when he’s being taken up da back un) :lol:
@soulie wrote:
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
Whatever you perceive it as – no point lieing to people.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
Whatever it takes to get that magical connection with each other.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
She feels completely satisfied and fulfilled.
4. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
Amazing.
5. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
Irrelevant to my feelings, but noticeable and up to her what she does about it.
6. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
Propaganda put forward by the media to feminise men, taking away their sexual power.
7. Foreplay is to sex as:
Breathing is to living.
8. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?“You’ll never be forgotten”
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
Is sexually inhibited but entitled to her feelings.
10. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
Wonderful.
My results suggest I’m not a man but what the hell, I wouldnt be comfortable in myself being that shallow and uncaring anyway.
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