Boards Index › General discussion › Off topic chat › I am NOT jealous of James Blunkett!
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30 December, 2005 at 1:14 pm #2334
Everyone thinks I am extremely jealous of James Blunkett because he has got a TANK. I am NOT! Anyway, I am still hoping to get a submarine with a PERISCOPE for Christmas. I imagine Santa is just having a little difficulty getting it through customs. This means I will be able to sneak up to beaches and look at nearly nude women sunbathing without getting arrested all the time.
You couldn’t sneak up on nearly nude women sunbathing in a tank of course. Ladies would hear you coming and would cover themselves up with overcoats, Women are not COMPLETELY stupid you know!!! I suppose if they thought it was James Blunkett inside the tank they might stay uncovered or even take more clothes off to throw in his general direction even though he is blind like his father and has to use a guide dog whenever he leaves his flat.
Another problem with tanks is that they run on petrol and they only go about 1 mile to the gallon. I would look stupid if I ran out of petrol and had to be towed up and down the beach all day by the AA.
Submarines, on the other hand, run on NUCLEAR POWER and can travel completely round the world without coming up for air. This means I could go to beaches in Thailand and Brazil and look at nearly nude women of myriad hues.
Another good thing about submarines is that they only have one tiny red light inside so that people can develop their photographs without upsetting the ladies at Boots. It’s also dark inside a tank of course but there’s always the risk that the man from the AA might lift the lid to tell you to try the engine again and that would let all the light in.
I would hate to spend all that time taking secret photographs of nearly nude women through a periscope only to have them ruined by the man from the AA, wouldn’t you
30 December, 2005 at 1:19 pm #179429Right then- glad thats clear
30 December, 2005 at 3:43 pm #179430@panickstricken wrote:
Everyone thinks I am extremely jealous of James Blunkett because he has got a TANK. I am NOT! Anyway, I am still hoping to get a submarine with a PERISCOPE for Christmas. I imagine Santa is just having a little difficulty getting it through customs. This means I will be able to sneak up to beaches and look at nearly nude women sunbathing without getting arrested all the time.
You couldn’t sneak up on nearly nude women sunbathing in a tank of course. Ladies would hear you coming and would cover themselves up with overcoats, Women are not COMPLETELY stupid you know!!! I suppose if they thought it was James Blunkett inside the tank they might stay uncovered or even take more clothes off to throw in his general direction even though he is blind like his father and has to use a guide dog whenever he leaves his flat.
Another problem with tanks is that they run on petrol and they only go about 1 mile to the gallon. I would look stupid if I ran out of petrol and had to be towed up and down the beach all day by the AA.
Submarines, on the other hand, run on NUCLEAR POWER and can travel completely round the world without coming up for air. This means I could go to beaches in Thailand and Brazil and look at nearly nude women of myriad hues.
Another good thing about submarines is that they only have one tiny red light inside so that people can develop their photographs without upsetting the ladies at Boots. It’s also dark inside a tank of course but there’s always the risk that the man from the AA might lift the lid to tell you to try the engine again and that would let all the light in.
I would hate to spend all that time taking secret photographs of nearly nude women through a periscope only to have them ruined by the man from the AA, wouldn’t you
So thats why Blunty has a tank….right thanks for that one made me giggle(a rarity for one so miserable i can tell you)
30 December, 2005 at 4:37 pm #179431Who is or was James Blunkett??
30 December, 2005 at 4:44 pm #179432@slayer wrote:
Who is or was James Blunkett??
He is a bloke who can’t sing very well but everyone is too scared to tell him because he owns a tank and he forces ladies to go out and buy all his records and take their clothes off and dance around the place completely in the nude. Maybe his ears have been damaged by all the tank noise or something and he can’t hear himself not being able to sing properly.
30 December, 2005 at 4:51 pm #179433He does???
What does he sing and where can i see it??
Regularly?
30 December, 2005 at 10:02 pm #179434@panickstricken wrote:
@slayer wrote:
Who is or was James Blunkett??
He is a bloke who can’t sing very well but everyone is too scared to tell him because he owns a tank and he forces ladies to go out and buy all his records and take their clothes off and dance around the place completely in the nude. Maybe his ears have been damaged by all the tank noise or something and he can’t hear himself not being able to sing properly.
Ok then :lol:
30 December, 2005 at 11:54 pm #179435ok guys
When you say James Blunkett- do you mean James Blunt??
Or am i just barking up the wrong back passage?
31 December, 2005 at 12:47 am #179436I didn’t quite get the post myself but then I am a blonde in a brunettes body :lol:
Im’ sure he means James Blunt……who I absolutely love 8)
31 December, 2005 at 12:50 am #179437ffs pmsl :lol: :lol: :lol:
No one knows what the thread is about but everyone is too afraid of being seen as a numpty to say anything- absolute classic :lol:
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