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Rizana Nafeek: Mother forgives over Saudi beheading
There are so many things wrong with this story, from the age of the girl, the lack of translator and lawyer until after she’d been found guilty, that the “victims” can dictate what the punishment should be, death by beheading…and so on.
Her mother, to my mind, has shown grace and dignity that belie the circumstances of her losing her daughter, including forgiving the parents of the baby who died for demanding her daughter’s beheading when they could have agreed to a pardon or lesser sentence.
So here’s the question: could you forgive the people who could have prevented your daughter’s death?
I believe in forgiveness, but the simple answer for me is ‘no’.
Emotionally I just couldn’t forgive, especially in those circumstances.
Forgiveness is hard, very hard, and sometimes beyond us – I think of child murder, or the Holocaust, in this way, too. We have to keep trying for forgiveness, but sometimes it’s just beyond us. If there’s a God, that’s where forgiveness sometimes has to be lodged.
I saw a programme once about the US army pastor appointed to minister to the war criminals at Nuremberg. He didn’t want the job, and found it impossible personally to forgive those people, but became aware of the importance of forgivness while ministering to them (some, like Goering, refused to even meet him). However, he could pray to God for forgiveness, and found some of the Nazi leaders learned to accept the enormity of what they ahd done by praying with him.
So forgiveness is important, but not easy, and sometimes impossible for us.
No.
Just, no.
I have a forgiving nature … but there are certain instances when forgiveness is impossible for me. This would be one of those.
NO never
@jen_jen wrote:
Her mother, to my mind, has shown grace and dignity that belie the circumstances of her losing her daughter, including forgiving the parents of the baby who died for demanding her daughter’s beheading when they could have agreed to a pardon or lesser sentence.
So here’s the question: could you forgive the people who could have prevented your daughter’s death?
The way she was treated was bad, yes. but was it her fault the child died?
Lets say their right and she was to blame…….Its a tough one and would like to think i’d be like the mother here and forgive.
To forgive the parents when they could have agreed to a pardon – who would give a pardon to someone who killed their child – isnt this the same question your asking now but about the person who caused the death in the first place?
or lesser sentence, yes in an ideal world we would all forgive but if it was your child who was killed would you forgive the person who’s fault it was?
I can’t see myself forgiving anyone for that.
There’s always a ‘but’ because I’ve never actually been through anything that painful so I don’t actually know. But if you’re asking me to sign a disclaimer, forget it.
@irish_lucy wrote:
To forgive the parents when they could have agreed to a pardon – who would give a pardon to someone who killed their child – isnt this the same question your asking now but about the person who caused the death in the first place?
Well spotted :)
Rizana said that the baby died in a choking accident but the Saudi courts accused her of strangulation. The trial itself was a farce, she had no legal representation and no translator…I can’t begin to imagine how frightening that would be, especially for a 17 year old, and I do wonder where the Sri Lankan embassy was in all this.
But yes…one set of parents have lost a child, they have not been able to forgive and have effectively taken a life in return. The parent whose child’s life was taken in return has forgiven the parents and said “There’s no point in blaming anyone – Rizana has gone.”
Whether the initial death was murder, manslaughter or a tragic accident, nothing will ever bring either child back.None of us can truly say what we would do if our child’s life was taken in any circumstances; we would feel grief and anger initially, yes, but what about once that had abated? I know I couldn’t seek the death of another in return, I believe that every life is precious. I would hope that I could be like Rizana’s mother and find forgiveness in my heart but I truly don’t know and I hope to never be put in the position to find out.
It is interesting to compare this case to the Louise Woodward case in the USA in the 90’s.
Similar attitudes from the parents of the babies that died but very different outcomes eventually and very different trials. Also it is interesting to see that some prosecution witnesses would not give the same evidence today.
Just this minute on the News is the case of the Irish nanny who is being prosecuted in the same State as Louise Woodward for the supposed killing of a one year old.
I’m not a man of religious faith, and I know forgiveness is a basic tenet of many religions, so it’s hard for me to think about how I would react under such circumstances. However I don’t think I’d be able to forgive something like this.
The ability to forgive might be seen as having tremendous strength of character, and I can see why. As much as I would like to, I don’t think I’d have the fortitude to overcome something like this and I suspect I would probably be tormented by the desperate need to seek revenge – as my irrational mind would surmise this to be the only way to seek some redress for my lost one. It’s not for nothing that it is often said that the best revenge is to live a good life.
On a personal note I have a distant relative whose daughter has been severely mentally impaired because of medical ill-practice and it has been dreadful watching him change from a peaceful, loving man to one who is understandably angry and unable believe that the right people have been adequately punished. Despite the fact that he seems to have exhausted all the legal avenues available, he won’t give in and he is a shadow of the man he used to be. He is definitely unable to forgive and I don’t think I can blame him – but he has also unable to move on and live his life.
Speaking with my rational mind and whilst something similar to this happening to me sounds considerably remote, revenge seems futile. On a pragmatic level I don’t think my ability to forgive is of any importance.
I don’t think I could forgive but for my own sanity I’d probably like to be able to.
Could I forgive? ……….Not in a million years!
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