It’s Your Choice

Hi chaps and chapettes:

I’m writing this whilst sitting on my chemical toilet in my tower block home, situated in a dodgy estate, whilst my crack-addled mother is servicing the neighbours and my dad is spending the last of our state handouts on cheap vodka and Guiness, so please forgive any glaring typos, grammatical errors or anything else that demonstrates how unintelligent, docile and working class I must be. (Did I mention my lack of a formal education?)

This is just a brief missive to highlight how pathetic some of our fellow chat room inhabitants are when they attempt to malign others on rather spurious grounds. Let’s consider the classic example where party A sends a PM to party B:

Party A: Hi. ASL
Party B: Hi. That’s not very original, but in for a penny, in for a pound. Age: 46; Sex: female; Location: Dublin
Party A: nice
Party B: Thank you. And U? ASL?
Party A: What are you wearing?
Party B: Pardon?
Party A: sorry did I say that? Someone said it to me (the perv) and it upset me so much that it seems to be on my mind. What I meant to say was I like Dublin.
Party B: Thank you. It’s a nice city. I like it.
Party A: Yer, it’s a bit of a party town, I’m guessing you’re a party girl. What are you wearing?
Party B: Not sure what I’m wearing has got to do with anything.
Party A: Did I say that again? Lol. I’m such an idiot. What I really meant to say is do you like to party?
Party B: Yes, I have my moments.
Party A: Have you got cam?
Party B: err…… yes?
Party A: Cool
Party B: er…..where’s this going exactly?
Party A: So, you’re a naughty girl?
Party B: Well, I’m pretty law abiding to be honest
Party A: Cool! Wanna Cyber?
Party B: Actually, it’s not my kind of thing. But thanks for the kind offer. It might be a good idea if we terminate this conversation. I’m sure you’re more likely to find what you want with someone else. Good luck with that btw.
Party A: You’re a tease. You’re a [feel free to add your favourite expletives here]

This is often compounded by party A casting aspersions about party B’s sexuality in the lobby.

I’m no prude. I’ve read the ladybird book of how mommy and daddy made little jimmy, and even though there were no storks delivering babies in the story, it was still a jolly good read. But it seems to me that some of those amongst us seem to take cyber rejection a little too personally. Quite frankly, I don’t know how one manages to get to our age without encountering rejection a few times, but maybe I get rejected more than most. Surely, just because someone has said no to your virtual hand placed on their virtual knee this does not render him/her a tease. Or am I wrong?

Similarly, if someone wants to cyber and uses words that you find offensive – I find jiggy, todger and boobs universally acceptable – that’s not licence to try and embarrass them in the lobby, especially when their intent was merely to have a little fun.

I have also noticed that for a chat room where potential anonymity is one of the great advantages, we seem to have more than the national average of ugly people frequenting this place. I know this because of how many times reference is made to someone’s unfortunate appearance. Don’t know about you, dear reader, but in my everyday life I consistently encounter people who I consider to be much better looking than me and, similarly, just as many of whom I wouldn’t mind standing next to in a beauty parade. Who cares what the everyone looks like?

Most of us don’t look like Cameron Diaz or George Clooney*. And, although this might be news to some, the chances are that you’re really just a slightly varying degree of average. With the wonders of technology, in my mind, I can pretend that I look like George Clooney* whilst I’m talking to my virtual Cameron Diaz if I so choose. I don’t need to worry about where the genetic game of chance has capriciously placed me on the beauty scale. I can’t do too much about the way I look, but I can do something about the way I communicate; I can choose to try to be nice or I can choose to be an ass.

And I guess this is what I’m really getting at. You can make a choice when you interact online. You can ignore typos, informal syntax and shoddy spelling, and concentrate on what the person is attempting to communicate, or you can use it as a petty opportunity to say “look at me! I know how to use a semi-colon, I know it’s ‘I’ before ‘E’ accept after ‘C’. I know my intransitive verbs from my indefinite articles.’ Incidentally it might be a good idea to refrain from doing this because it always seems to translate as ‘look at me! I’m an idiot.’

You can choose to have a laugh, learn something, share an experience or you can choose to try to make someone else appear inferior.

You can choose have a naughty chat with someone, fall at the first hurdle then call them names that highlight your latent attitude towards the opposite sex or you can move on, learn your lesson and try harder with someone else.

Choose what you want – because whatever you opt for it invariably demonstrates more about you than anything else.

* OK, so I lied for the sake of artistic licence. I really do look like George Clooney