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I dont even know where to start……should you go back to an ex?
No matter what I do or hard I try there’s ALWAYS this one person that no one can compare to!! Have I made any changes, learned my lessons and grown emotionally? can long distance relationships really be successful? Why when Im upset do I always turn to this person and vice versa, shes the only person that can make me happy and when we were together it was the best time of my life(besides having my Daughter) she says she cant have successful relationships because she always ends up comparing to me………HELP ME!!!
I can’t make decisions!!!!!!!
I think sometimes it can work going back to a ex, sometimes wen u meet somone one or both of u is just in different places, or you have young children ect which can it make it difficult for you to make a relationship work because you dont want to disrupt there lives for example. But you have to deal with the reasons why you couldnt make it work first time, have u resolved these issues if not they will still be there. If either of u still hold a grudge or there is still anger maybe let the past stay in the past and remember the relationship fondly. But love is hard to find in this world and if you have a chance to be happy grab hold of it and dont let it go. Either way good luck to you.
Ive got no idea if long distance relationships work, ive seen a few work well and a few fail miserably in my friends relationships, i dunno maybe it depends on willingness to compromise.
My head says let the past stay in the past, you dont want to go through the distress of another seperation if it dosnt work, my heart says if u are lucky enuf to find the other half of you its worth taking the risk to see if it works,
Eeeek.
If it didn’t work before . . . . . . . . .
My answer to your questions would be
- Long distance relationships can definitely work and they have for me in he past.
Going back. Maybe but only maybe. Did it once to try to mend a broken heart and it just hurt me even more.
People make all sorts of excuses to themselves about why they can’t find a relationship or make their current relationship work, chief amongst them being something from the past they never found again.
I have at least one ex who seems to accept who I am better than my current partner and often seems to be more of a friend. Even if I was tempted (and neither of us are) I would need to remind myself that she doesn’t have to live with me and there were plenty of reasons why we didn’t make it work.
My instinct would be to move forward, but I do know people who got back together with and old flame and are now happily married with children.
Do what feels right. At worst, you can only mess it up. Whatever option you go for you can never be sure it was for the best.
At the very least feel really flattered that she feels this way about her time with you, and get some confidence for the rest of your life from that.
Life is never simple is it Lucy.
I agree with everything Momentary has said… every case is different though and when it comes right down to it only you know the full facts and only you can make a final judgement on what to do.
I do sort of think though if you are not sure and you are asking advice here… maybe the time isn’t right for you to make a decision at all for the time being. Things have a way of working out…. maybe you should not force a decision now…. sit on it for a while :D
it depends on why you broke up in the first place, the heart is a tricky thing, so make sure your getting back together for the right reasons and not out of lonelyness.
Best of luck in what you decided Lucy xxxxxx
Eva, Moment, Mrs T & Luce
Thanks for all ur comments and im still at a cross roads and prob still will be when im 50!
maybe il just put the ball in her court and see where fate takes us :?
People can bring out all sorts of emotions in us. We all have “buttons” that some people can just somehow instinctively detect. Typically, we will tend to remember the most prominent emotion as our brains cannot focus on opposing thoughts coinciding and it will, rightly or wrongly, select the idea with the most emotion we have attached to it but the other, opposing thought, will still try to gain some supremacy in your head. It will continue to try to remind you of its’ existence.
There are reasons that we told ourselves to validate us leaving and there are the reasons that we could see but sidestepped as the reasons that we told ourselves were simply easier to digest. We can also try to obtain an old need that was not met previously by that person but do we know if the need we believe we require, and feel entitled to, is relevant to who we are today. Do we know if returning to that emotional state once again will satisfy newly acquired needs we have developed in the meantime.
If we could sift through the emotions that we withstood at that time that originated from inside us from those that were generated from that other persons’ actions. Are each of those generated emotions that affected us worth returning to, does its’ true value offset the not so favourable reactions we had.
If someone knows how to drive you crazy they are unlikely to forget that trick. Your emotional intelligence/ wellbeing will be challenged, no matter how sincerely you believe you have grown. Are we brave enough to be honest with ourselves. If we are unable to, it is unlikely that we will find the same in others.
Distance is only as much of an issue as we, ourselves, allow it to be. New, successful, relationships are conceived everyday with old ideals and out-dated benchmarks.
Speaking personally here. When you have only ever truly loved one person its easy to think that they are the ONE for you. That they are the ONLY one who can make you happy and they are the only one you will ever really love. Because of this its all too easy to pause on that forward walk of life and consider turning back. But an ex is an ex for a reason. If this all happened in recent times, say, within the last few years than you will both essentially be the same people and so the reasons for the split will still be relevant. If however it was a long time ago then that that person will have moved on and certainly wont be the person you loved. Perhaps in your case its the former.
The whole thing is a minefield and despite the pleas for caution sometimes your heart will pull you in a certain direction. Heart over head. Its an age old conundrum and there’s no answer that applies to all.
If you’re going to gamble than make sure its your decision alone.If it makes you smile – Do it.
If it makes you sad – Don’t.<3 ya witch xx
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