favourite kid’s stories

this is roald dahl’s twist on the classic little red riding hood from revolting rhymes

my kids love this

As soon as Wolf began to feel That he would like a decent meal, He went and knocked on Grandma’s door. When grandma opened it’ she saw The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin, and wolfie said, “may i come in ?” poor grandmamma was terrified, “he’s going to eat me up!” she cried. and she was absolutly right he ate her up in one big bite.

but grandmamma was small and tough, and wolfie wailed “that’s not enough! i haven’t yet had a decent meal!” he ran around the kitchen yelping i’ve got to have a second helping then added with a frightful lear i’m therefore going to wait right here till little miss red riding hood comes home from walking in the wood he quickly put on grandma’s clothes (of course he hadn’t eaten those) he dressed himself in coat and hat he put on shoes and after that he even brushed and curled his hair then sat himself in grrandma’s chair.

in came the little girl in red she stopped she stared and then she said

what great big ears you have grandma
all the better to hear you with the wolf replied
what great big eyes you have, grandma
said little red riding hood
all the better to see you with the wolf replied

he sat there watching her and smiled he thought i’m going to eat this child compared with her old grandmamma she’s going to taste like caviar.

then litle red riding hood said but grandma what a lovely furry coat you have on.

that’s wrong cried the wolf have you forgot to tell me what big teeth i’ve got ah well no matter what you say i’m going to eat you anyway the small girl smiles. one eyelid flickers. she whips a pistol from her knickers. she aims it at the creatures head

and bang bang bang she shoots him dead a few weeks later, in the wood i came across miss riding hood but what a change! no cloak of red no silly hood apon her head she said hello and do please note my lovely furry WOLF SKIN COAT.