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Posts
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7.5 Yrs ago and still makes me laugh!
Originally Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:54 pm
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a
garment
on the counter. “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.”
she says.
“Come again?” says the clerk, cupping his ear.“No” she replies. “This time it’s mayonnaise.”
my joke’s better than your joke :lol: x
me and the missus walked past a swanky new restaurant,that has just opened near us
she sais wow did you smell that food incredible
so being the nice kind of guy i am,i decided to treat her
we turned round and walked past again.
@rogue trader wrote:
me and the missus walked past a swanky new restaurant,that has just opened near us
she sais wow did you smell that food incredible
so being the nice kind of guy i am,i decided to treat her
we turned round and walked past again.
:lol:
my girlfriend has just finished with me because of my fetish for touching pasta
im feeling canneloni right now :(gets coat.
Heard about the new diet?
You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and as much as you want.
You don’t lose any weight, but it’s really easy to stick to.
:shock:
:lol:
There’s a new garlic diet going around.
You don’t lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance.
:shock:
talking of food
somebody threw some omega 3 pills at me the other day
dont worry tho
ive only got super-fish-oil injuries.Every night, Frank would go down to the store, get a six-pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.
One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach standing there. This time he was knee’d in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then he left.
The fourth night Frank didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang. The six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor. The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. “What can I do?” he pleaded.
“Not much” answered the doctor. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”
i bumped into a homeless guy the other day
he asked me if i had any spare change
i told him i had a tenner in my left pocket,and a pound in my right
so pick one
he said i will have the tenner
oh no you wont i said
he said why not and isaidbecause beggars cant be choosers.
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