" THE WEDDING" Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming. It was a lovely day.

At ‘The pyschochatville Hospital for The Insane’ there was an air of expectancy…

The Doctors and Trustee’s knew they were taking a gamble. If anything went badly wrong there would be hell to pay in the press, however the ‘inmates’ had been well behaved(ish) lately, and needed to be rewarded.

Cele’o’tape and Jimmy_ohmygodwhatamidoing’s wedding was just the ticket, and as the hospital had agreed to foot the bill, Cele and jimmy had agreed to invite all the inmates !!

At Pyschoville everyone was gathering in the reception lobby, all spruced up in their best bib ‘n’ tucker.

maddz_divint_fook_aboot was sporting her favourite pvc mini skirt and purple velour halter-necked top,
she was clutching her ‘fannyy the wonderdog’ which had been combed and sprinkled with glitter.

Knitting_my_curtains had a rather baggy, maxi dress on she had knitted herself, unfortunately a stray thread had become caught in the wheels of her bathchair and it had become unravelled, revealing her enormous bloomers.
Noticing this she stood up, waving her knitting needles then turned and bent over to gather up her yarn and everyone was treated to a picture of Thick_slice on the bottom of her bloomers !!

VeryImportantPeanut was dressed up as Horatio Nelson and was shouting ” Do You Realise who I am ? Keep ya nose out !!! “

Behaving_like_a_pyscho was very heavily medicated, he had been hosed down and dressed in a BabyGrow, with bib to catch the drool, and had been strapped in his wheelchair.

Thick_Slice was checking himself out in the mirror. ” god im hot ….” he muttered, and it was true, the extra tight, plum coloured, velvet suit and silk shirt with ruffles, was a bit much on such a warm day…He adjusted the sock he’d placed down his trousers, and began singing “If ya think im sexyyy and you want my bodyyyy … come on baby let me know…” and gave a small twirl.

Blonde was sporting a tweed suit, she had had her hair set and resembled a cross between Margaret Thatcher and Barbara Woodhouse.

Nice_Pies_fem was glorious in bright yellow, and wearing a very stylish hat with long yellow feathers, mutterings of ” Big Bird” she ignored as she helped Ugly_asa_moose into her pink tutu and matching pink antlers.

Claire_dont_dare_me had gone for a twin set and pearls, paired with black leather shorts and wellies… Blonde didnt look impressed and rolled her eyes.

SoonMadcow refused to wash and dress and was still in her stained pj’s, and was shouting “I’m not *&*%^^*&ng Gttin **&%^ng dressd up fa no ****67% Fu*** er …hic…. Born 2 poo is a gob too”

Coach Driver came in the front doors and shouted

” Come on everybody…. The Chara’s out front, and ive hooked up a trailer at the back for merrymoron, as we’ll never get him on the bus, we can pull him along behind”

” cheers coach m8 ” yelled merry, spraying Blonde with sausage roll crumbs.

They all rushed to get the best seats on the chara…

Ugly_asa_moose’ got her enormous rear end stuck in the door, and a mighty push was needed by all, they nearly lost Nice_pies_fem for good in the process.

Once everyone was settled, Nice_pies_female started handing out ”sing-a-long sheets” with show tunes on,

and occasionally swigged out of a bottle of Harveys Bristol Cream.

And they were off …. On their way to the wedding of the year !!!

To be continued….