-
Posts
-
Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself; high self-esteem refers to a feeling of confidence or happiness with one’s self. It has absolutely nothing to do with other people, what they say or what they think. It’s all about you.
Low self-esteem has nothing to do with basing your worth on what other people say. It simply means that, as an individual, you don’t think you’re worth much. As a matter of fact, plenty of people with low self-esteem receive compliments on a regular basis. When they hear these kind words, they usually deflect them or twist the meaning until the message aligns more closely with their view of themselves. So whether or not you are capable of ignoring the insults of others has absolutely nothing to do with your esteem issues because, even if the words are kind, a person with low self-esteem perceives them as dishonest or inaccurate.
Low self-esteem is actually WORSE THAN DEPRESSION, because the person trapped behind it truly believes they deserve all of the sorrow and unhappiness they receive. It is a loathing that is completely independent of the world around you; it’s trapped inside your head. No stranger can make you feel better, no stranger can make you feel worse because you already believe the worst things they could ever think of to say.
In modern psychology, it is believed to be healthy for a person to have a positive self image, a natural optimism. This seems, to some, to be madness. If you are not an outstanding or noteworthy person, why on Earth should you fool yourself into thinking so? If a person truly has nothing going for them, why should they pretend? The only answer is that, without hope, all else fails. That, as human beings, our survival depends upon our ability to see a bright side, a happy ending, the last smidgeon of a chance. People with low self-esteem cannot see that in themselves.
There is no greater hell.
Depression can cause some people to think the world revolves around them. They are the centre of their own universe and everyone else they come into contact with are mere satellites. They therefore care too much what others think, and presume that everyone is thinking about them the whole time, which is of course inaccurate.
Children are not depressives, but as emotionally immature little people, they tend to think that everything they say or do has an impact on everyone around them. Adolescents are particularly guilty of the “centre of the universe” syndrome, and they suffer unimaginable pangs and embarrassments at things they may have said or done. They think that everyone will have noticed… when in fact, all the other teenagers/adolescents are in their own private hells.
Most people grow out of this, and realise that they are merely blips on other people’s radars. Some people have damaged egos and enter adult life with the world still revolving around them. If they do not get the feedback they desire, they amend their behaviour to stimulate more attention. This is self perpetuating.
Self esteem or lack of it, is merely a symptom of the above. An inability to recognise how unimportant they really are in other people’s lives. The freedom this realisation gives all the people who managed to grow up allows most people to be able to shrug negative emotions off, and to accept compliments with a good grace.
I have not studied psychology, this is just my take on the subject. You are all free to rip it into shreds if you so desire…….I won’t mind either way :wink:
at drama college we were taught that we all need a daily ” stroke”.. not a physical one of course.a stroke can brighten up a persons day. its almost theraputic to be the giver of said ” stroke”. depressive anxiety can be a killer, its not like im saying ” ooooh TB you REALLY suit that blouse”. when in fact you look like Pat Butcher wearing it ! just be gentle.
and failing that, kick them right in the coont !
metaphysically of course !
and ps,, i have a certiikit in pshycology from Dundeee ooniversaty !
damm my cognitive skills !
Depression can cause some people to think the world revolves around them. They are the centre of their own universe and everyone else they come into contact with are mere satellites. They therefore care too much what others think, and presume that everyone is thinking about them the whole time, which is of course inaccurate.
Hmmmm that’s not what depression does, and I’m talking from experience.
That’s Narcissistic personality disorder or paranoia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
But certainly not depression.
@panda12 wrote:
Depression can cause some people to think the world revolves around them. They are the centre of their own universe and everyone else they come into contact with are mere satellites. They therefore care too much what others think, and presume that everyone is thinking about them the whole time, which is of course inaccurate.
Hmmmm that’s not what depression does, and I’m talking from experience.
That’s Narcissistic personality disorder or paranoia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
But certainly not depression.
I disagree, I think depressives put up barriers and retreat as a form of self defence. In this mode, everything from outside is heightened and taken out of context. Perhaps there are elements of paranoia and narcissism in low self-esteem, as a result of the depression? I think depression can cause some people to retreat into their shell so that they don’t have to deal with other people, a consequence of this is that they over react to everything people say or do. I do think adolescents go through that as a matter of course, worrying what their peer group are saying about them etc. But, is that a lack of self confidence and life experience? Now ok, what is the difference between lacking self-confidence and having a low self-esteem? That one I am not clear on.
Actually, having read that wikepedia link, I think the one below is more like the person Toy describes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoid_personality_disorder
*strokes rubes* :wink:
@minim wrote:
@panda12 wrote:
Depression can cause some people to think the world revolves around them. They are the centre of their own universe and everyone else they come into contact with are mere satellites. They therefore care too much what others think, and presume that everyone is thinking about them the whole time, which is of course inaccurate.
Hmmmm that’s not what depression does, and I’m talking from experience.
That’s Narcissistic personality disorder or paranoia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
But certainly not depression.
I disagree, I think depressives put up barriers and retreat as a form of self defence. In this mode, everything from outside is heightened and taken out of context. Perhaps there are elements of paranoia and narcissism in low self-esteem, as a result of the depression? I think depression can cause some people to retreat into their shell so that they don’t have to deal with other people, a consequence of this is that they over react to everything people say or do. I do think adolescents go through that as a matter of course, worrying what their peer group are saying about them etc. But, is that a lack of self confidence and life experience? Now ok, what is the difference between lacking self-confidence and having a low self-esteem? That one I am not clear on.
Actually, having read that wikepedia link, I think the one below is more like the person Toy describes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoid_personality_disorder
*strokes rubes* :wink:
I think depression can cause some people to retreat into their shell so that they don’t have to deal with other people consequence of this is that they over react to everything people say or do.
That’s a contradiction! People with depression do retreat into their shell and lack of communication is the outcome!
They don’t “over react to everything” they in fact, don’t react to anything!
My mother and my ex husband both suffered with severe depression and neither spoke to anyone for weeks.
I myself suffered with mild depression which resulted in ignoring people. I didn’t want to socialise, mix with people at work, as well as displaying a lot of the symptoms listed here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx
In later life, my mother developed narcissistic personality disorder. That was a living hell for many years as rather than not wanting to communicate she was the complete opposite with rage, temper tantrums and extreme selfishness being the norm.
Self confidence is a part of self esteem but is different.
Self confidence is where you believe in your ability to do something, and you can be confident about your ability to do some things and not others. So you might have high confidence in your ability to do your job, but have low confidence in your ability to make small talk at a social event.
Self esteem is your sense of your own personal worth, how you feel about being the person you are rather than what you can accomplish. Accomplishments do contribute to self esteem but are a small part of it. Self esteem also comes from your perception of yourself, which can be affected by how you see your self, your body image, how you behave around other people, how they behave around you, what happens to you in your life and so on.
Low self-esteem has a far greater impact than low self confidence; it affects your relationships with other people, how you react to events in your life (which in turn can impact your self esteem), your mental and physical health etc.
Minim you talk about depression as someone who has seen others suffering from it but not suffered yourself…would that be a fair assumption?
@jen_jen wrote:
Self confidence is a part of self esteem but is different.
Self confidence is where you believe in your ability to do something, and you can be confident about your ability to do some things and not others. So you might have high confidence in your ability to do your job, but have low confidence in your ability to make small talk at a social event.
Self esteem is your sense of your own personal worth, how you feel about being the person you are rather than what you can accomplish. Accomplishments do contribute to self esteem but are a small part of it. Self esteem also comes from your perception of yourself, which can be affected by how you see your self, your body image, how you behave around other people, how they behave around you, what happens to you in your life and so on.
Low self-esteem has a far greater impact than low self confidence; it affects your relationships with other people, how you react to events in your life (which in turn can impact your self esteem), your mental and physical health etc.
Minim you talk about depression as someone who has seen others suffering from it but not suffered yourself…would that be a fair assumption?
=D>
@jen_jen wrote:
Self confidence is a part of self esteem but is different.
Self confidence is where you believe in your ability to do something, and you can be confident about your ability to do some things and not others. So you might have high confidence in your ability to do your job, but have low confidence in your ability to make small talk at a social event.
Self esteem is your sense of your own personal worth, how you feel about being the person you are rather than what you can accomplish. Accomplishments do contribute to self esteem but are a small part of it. Self esteem also comes from your perception of yourself, which can be affected by how you see your self, your body image, how you behave around other people, how they behave around you, what happens to you in your life and so on.
Low self-esteem has a far greater impact than low self confidence; it affects your relationships with other people, how you react to events in your life (which in turn can impact your self esteem), your mental and physical health etc.
Minim you talk about depression as someone who has seen others suffering from it but not suffered yourself…would that be a fair assumption?
Thank you for the clarification jen jen. And, I think your assumption is correct… I haven’t suffered from it myself, and I am thankful for that. I do know people who have it but those are functioning and so at what point do depressive people shut themselves off from the world? The people I know who suffer from depression just feel that life isn’t worth living while they are in the depths of it. One person talks and talks and talks but it is always about her and how hard life is for her, and its all “me me me”. I assumed it was the depression talking, and she cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. This matched some of the self esteem issues toy mentioned. So is low self esteem a symptom of depression? Or can you have low self esteem without being depressed? The lack of self confidence thing i can understand, but do depressed people also lack self confidence? Its all a bit complex I guess, and I doubt any two people have exactly the same combination of thiings.
If low self esteem makes people think that even when someone tells them they love them, they will never believe it because they don’t think anyone could ever feel that way about them, then isn’t that depression tinged with self loathing and lack of trust in everyone around them? Isn’t that a symptom of self absorbtion which would be part of the act of cutting yourself off from the world. A lack of empathy certainly, because they are too busy protecting themselves.
Not sure if I am talking round in circles now….if I disappear up my own behind in a flurry of pretentious twaddle forgive me!!!
Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!