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Widow builds children a life-size cardboard cut-out of their dead father
A grieving widow has kept the memory of her dead husband alive for their two children – by creating a life-size cardboard cut-out to live in the family home.Paul Challis, a father-of-two, died from cancer at just 38, weeks after being diagnosed with two brain tumours.
His wife Maria, 36, was determined that their two children – Jack, seven, and Molly, nine – would not forget his memory so has installed a 6’1″ cardboard model in their living room.
The 2D father was a guest at his own funeral and even attended his friend’s wedding weeks after his death.
He is pictured at one of his happiest moments holding a bottle of champagne and laughing while on-board a QE2 cruise to Bruges, Belgium, with Maria.
Paul’s death had been so shocking to his family and friends Maria decided he was still going to be the heart of the party even in death.
The cut-out was made for Paul’s funeral but afterwards his grieving wife could not bear to get rid of it.
She said: “Paul was always the life and soul of the party and it seemed only fitting for him to be there for the final party, his final farewell.
“I think he would have loved it, he would have said, ‘why didn’t I think of that?;
“When you lose someone you love, you worry you’ll forget them and this is our way of remembering Paul and keeping our precious memories of him alive.
“The children have even dressed him up in a Santa outfit at Christmas and as Dracula on Halloween.
“He was due to go to a friend’s wedding some weeks after he died. He didn’t make it but his cut-out did and it was nice to think he was there.
“Some people might raise eyebrows but who is anyone to say what is the right and wrong way to deal with grief?
That cant be healthy surely ?
Who are we to quesion how some people deal with loss and grief
Can they ever move on though ? And dressing the cut out up ?
It’s no different to having photos around the house and in your purse or wallet, just on a bigger scale.
Having photos around and keeping a person’s memory alive doesn’t mean you’re not moving on. It’s probably a more cheerful way of doing it, especially for the children…better that than someone sitting there mournfully saying “oh if only Paul was here, he’d love this”. This way it’s more upbeat and he is there, albeit in a different way.
As many of you might know I have had the misfortune of suffering grief in the past 24 months 4 times with the loss of my dad and 3 grandparents.. at first I adorned my house with photographs… and in fact used to often kiss them or chat to them… I have to be honest they have all gone back in the box now and to me it’s a sign I have moved on a little. It’s not like I have forgotten them but I now feel it was becoming unhealthy having a room full of dead people watching over me in photos and not good for my kids either. If this is their way of coping with their loss then so be it… I am sure like me a time will come when they put the picture away too……
@jen_jen wrote:
It’s no different to having photos around the house and in your purse or wallet, just on a bigger scale.
Having photos around and keeping a person’s memory alive doesn’t mean you’re not moving on. It’s probably a more cheerful way of doing it, especially for the children…better that than someone sitting there mournfully saying “oh if only Paul was here, he’d love this”. This way it’s more upbeat and he is there, albeit in a different way.
i agree, can’t see any harm in it at all
It must be very hard for the widow, grieving her loss, and feeling the pain FOR her children too. Obviously in time, she’ll act differently.
There is no riight or wrong way to mourn , u cant be told / shown how to, as we all deal with it in so many different ways , no matter how weird it might seem to some. Its how we manage that counts . We all do it the best way that we know how , what others think really does not matter.
@tatler wrote:
There is no riight or wrong way to mourn , u cant be told / shown how to, as we all deal with it in so many different ways , no matter how weird it might seem to some. Its how we manage that counts . We all do it the best way that we know how , what others think really does not matter.
exactly right
Grieving is a very personal thing, and until we are faced with it we do not know how we are going to deal with it.
Over the years I have lost some members of my family and on the outside have coped well, but I lost someone 4 years ago and I have not been able to deal with it – no one knows how I feel I keep it to myself, but every year near the anniversary of the death I lose my voice, even though I have moved on – or so I think I have.
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