Boards Index › General discussion › Getting serious › A parody for our times
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6 December, 2009 at 10:42 am #14074
I was sent this by a friend. Basically it is a parody ……. can anybody spot what it is based upon???
Explanation of the Second Degree Waiting Hoard
When the Great Dome at Greenwich was completed by Lord Falconer, its costliness and extravagance became objects of derision to the whole nation and its profligacy became known throughout the then known world. There was nothing, however, in connection with this pretentious structure more ridiculous or that particularly insulted the intelligence, than the huge body figure that stood at its centre or focal point. That part on the left was called Old Labour, denoting dogma and class warfare, and that on the right, New Labour, denoting populism and duplicity; but when conjoined, politically expedient; for Blair said, ” Indeed if I elevate all my acolytes to the Upper House, I will be in power for ever.” It was formed hollow the better to allude to the many promises made prior to the 1997 election.
The cost of this structure was eight hundred million pounds; its shape ugly; its interior unheated: it was made of overpriced canvas, and was built on the banks of the Thames, on the polluted ground between Erith and Rotherhide, where the gas works had formerly stood. Responsibility for the ensuing debacle was denied by everyone. This dome was filled with various zones, none appearing to have any real purpose. The zones were sponsored by toadies, yes-men and sycophants, all desirous of receiving peerages or knighthoods – denoting cronyism universal. It was declared finished when the electrician’s blackmail demands for more money were met.
This dome was set up as a reminder to the people of Britain, of the half-truths and deceits propounded by great Spin-doctors, having two wonderful purposes. The half-truths portrayed their political masters in a favourable light to the media; while the deceits proved darkness to anyone who tried to expose them. Blair ordered that it be placed in a prominent position in the capital, being the most proper and conspicuous situation for the poor and needy of London, that they should have a constant reminder of the arrogance of politicians continually before their eyes when going to and returning from the cardboard boxes in which they lived.
When the Dome at Greenwich was completed a vast number of people were invited to attend. They included the privileged and the ordinary. The privileged travelled on special chartered water-buses along the river, whilst the ordinary were forced to go by London Underground. They got there by the station situated at Stratford. When the ordinary people entered the station they arrived at the foot of a winding queue leading to the middle platform. Their descent was here opposed by a junior security man who demanded the ticket leading to the platform. When they arrived at the platform they were opposed by a senior security man who demanded of them the ticket leading to the Dome to which they sought admission. These tickets were few in possession as the majority, I dare say you recollect, were in the possession of the Post Office, being delayed by the Christmas post on whom the people placed great reliance in those days.
When the people had given these elusive proofs, the security men said “Pass through this metal detector.”; which device consisted of wires, lights and buzzers. And as metal detectors were then used to scan passengers boarding aircraft, so Blair ordered they should be adopted at Stratford Station to prevent any disaffected person from entering his holy Dome.
When the people arrived at the Dome they were obliged to wait for three, five or seven or more hours before arriving at the entrance to the Dome, which they found open. Inside the people were given much food and drink, which they consumed by the bootfull and with indifference. By the bootfull, knowing the taxpayer had paid for it, and with indifference from the great apathy they felt for the needs of the National Health Service and other great causes which could have used eight hundred million pounds in better ways. Whilst in the dome their attention was particularly drawn to certain inflated egos, here depicted by the letters PM, denoting Prime Minister, under whom we must all suffer and who in time we must all come to abhor.
6 December, 2009 at 11:57 am #425431The wonders of democracy? The war on terror ? MP`s expenses…..You must have some bored friends……. :wink:
6 December, 2009 at 12:27 pm #425432The complete structure appeared after that last UFO attack
6 December, 2009 at 4:39 pm #425433No to all the above – not even close.
The clue is in the title … any other guesses???
6 December, 2009 at 4:58 pm #425434does it involve secret handshakes and silly dressed-up ceremonies ?
6 December, 2009 at 5:09 pm #425435Well, 3, 5 and 7 are all prime numbers, and it could refer to the masonic lodge.
hmmmm
6 December, 2009 at 7:13 pm #425436Millenium Dome?
6 December, 2009 at 7:22 pm #425437Lord watsy`s names wallpaper………..lol
7 December, 2009 at 12:30 am #425438Very well done both toybulldog and minim.
In fact it is a parody on the explanation of the Second Degree Tracing Board which is part of the Masonic ceremony of Passing – i.e. when a new mason moves up to the second degree and becomes a Fellow Craft.
The original version commences: “When the Temple at Jerusalem was completed by King Solomon, its costliness and splendour became objects of admiration to the surrounding nation, and its fame spread to the remotest parts of the then known world.”
When you compare the real text and the parody, you can see how very cleverly somebody has sent up New Labour.
Minim very cleverly got the 3, 5, and 7 reference as being Masonic.
Again a quote from the real version: “They then passed up the winding staircase consisting of three, five, seven or more steps. Three rule a Lodge; five hold a Lodge; and seven or more make it perfect. The three who rule a Lodge are the Masater and his two Wardens; the five who hold a Lodge are the Master, two Wardens and two Fellow Crafts; the seven who make it perfect are two Entered Apprentices added to the former five.”
Oh well it’s a rainy Sunday – at least that’s my excuse.
7 December, 2009 at 8:01 pm #425439I thought it might have been a Temple, something from the ancient wonders of the world, but was going to say King Herod’s temple.
Clever stuff :)
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