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Posts
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Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.Only in Britain . Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.Only in Britain . Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.Only in Britain . Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.Only in Britain . Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the Counters.Only in Britain . Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on The
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.Only in Britain . Do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call Waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t
want to talk to in The first place.Only in Britain . Are there disabled parking places in Front of a
skating rink.NOT TO MENTION… 3 Brits die each year testing of A 9v battery works
on their tongue.142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not Removing all pins from new
shirts..58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.31 Brits have died since 1996 by Watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Cracker
pulling accidents.101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of Plastic toys pulled
out of the soles of their feet.18 Brits had serious Burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.5 Brits were injured last year in Accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars.And finally……… In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the toiletI wouldn’t be caught dead in a German car. I’ve never been to an Irish pub my life, I go to either Wetherspoon’s in town or my local village pub which is a Yorkshire pub (Samuel Smith’s), and I drink Yorkshire bitter, Smith’s brewery from Smith’s obviously or I partake in the locally brewed Real Ale at the ‘Spoons. However, I do enjoy a vindaloo – which is not infact an Indian dish, but a British-modified Goan dish brought back by the Portuguese, ‘aloo’ meaning potato, the dish is more British than Indian, you won’t find any true Indian that eats vindaloo – would you want to eat it in that heat? My furniture is made in the village furniture shop down the road, hand made, it keeps the old man and his son in business and I can’t stand American shows. I’m watching On The Buses right now on DVD. However, can’t get around the foreign tele bit. Although it was made in Hong Kong, not Japan.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.That’s not true, in many nations, especially in the middle-east or sub-Sahara, anything strange or ‘foreign’ is treat with a lot of suspicion. So much suspicion that it’s usually beheaded or culled in one form or another.
Only in Britain . Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.Took 5 minutes for an ambulance to get to my house when I rang up with severe pains in my chest and sides. Took 40 minutes for my 16″ ham, pineapple & pepperoni pizza to arrive from 1 mile down the road on Saturday.
Only in Britain . Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.That’s not true. In the Tescos in town the pharmacist is right next to the entrance, and the cigarette counter is near the beer aisle, at the other end.
Only in Britain . Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.Think you’ll find America beats us hands down on that one.
Only in Britain . Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the Counters.Again untrue. It was the same when I went to Canada, when I went to France – and I’ve seen it on American TV, too, with the pens chained down. Besides, my local bank always has its doors closed.
Only in Britain . Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on The
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.To be fair most people in Britain aren’t lucky enough to have a garage, considering the majority of society our council estate tenants. I have a garage, but I tend to leave my garden tools in the garden shed. I think any country you go to you’ll see cars parked on the street. I find it very difficult to believe that ‘only in Britain’ are there cars on the street.
Infact there’s so many of these inaccuracies, fallacies and plain down right lies I honestly can’t be bothered to reply to every single one so I’ll leave it there!
Good job I’m English then :D/
British is so last century :lol:
lol @ tom
@tom wrote:
I wouldn’t be caught dead in a German car. I’ve never been to an Irish pub my life, I go to either Wetherspoon’s in town or my local village pub which is a Yorkshire pub (Samuel Smith’s), and I drink Yorkshire bitter, Smith’s brewery from Smith’s obviously or I partake in the locally brewed Real Ale at the ‘Spoons. However, I do enjoy a vindaloo – which is not infact an Indian dish, but a British-modified Goan dish brought back by the Portuguese, ‘aloo’ meaning potato, the dish is more British than Indian, you won’t find any true Indian that eats vindaloo – would you want to eat it in that heat? My furniture is made in the village furniture shop down the road, hand made, it keeps the old man and his son in business and I can’t stand American shows. I’m watching On The Buses right now on DVD. However, can’t get around the foreign tele bit. Although it was made in Hong Kong, not Japan.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.That’s not true, in many nations, especially in the middle-east or sub-Sahara, anything strange or ‘foreign’ is treat with a lot of suspicion. So much suspicion that it’s usually beheaded or culled in one form or another.
Only in Britain . Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.Took 5 minutes for an ambulance to get to my house when I rang up with severe pains in my chest and sides. Took 40 minutes for my 16″ ham, pineapple & pepperoni pizza to arrive from 1 mile down the road on Saturday.
Only in Britain . Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.That’s not true. In the Tescos in town the pharmacist is right next to the entrance, and the cigarette counter is near the beer aisle, at the other end.
Only in Britain . Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.Think you’ll find America beats us hands down on that one.
Only in Britain . Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the Counters.Again untrue. It was the same when I went to Canada, when I went to France – and I’ve seen it on American TV, too, with the pens chained down. Besides, my local bank always has its doors closed.
Only in Britain . Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on The
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.To be fair most people in Britain aren’t lucky enough to have a garage, considering the majority of society our council estate tenants. I have a garage, but I tend to leave my garden tools in the garden shed. I think any country you go to you’ll see cars parked on the street. I find it very difficult to believe that ‘only in Britain’ are there cars on the street.
Infact there’s so many of these inaccuracies, fallacies and plain down right lies I honestly can’t be bothered to reply to every single one so I’ll leave it there!
Britain – Home to the BNP who send leaflets through Peoples doors saying how they have the right to ask for ‘mass immigration’ and then list wars that included many young indian men and other races who fought and died for our country.
Britain – Where someone can wear a suit, claim they have grown up and changed their life around, but spend their time slating and putting others down, like a child in a playground.
Have never met Tom Holmes. Dont think I want to! Pedantic Hijo da Puta aint he?
:Pjeeeeeeeeeezzz talking about having a seriuos HANG UP BEING bRITISH . sorry Tom but john smith ,s bitter taste like sh yte , in fact we call it drain water overhere. we dont hav a old Codger making furniture in the village , we do how ever hav a Idiot lol , must be same thing in Britain. Can i remind all of u that the Britsh Empire is been dead for well over a Hundred years and it created nothing but Havoc across the world. i also love my foreign telly . furnutire, food. long live the rite to choose lol . Brown bear :D :D :D :D :D P.S i love my German made car , it still runs after all these years
Strong words from Yokey.
lighten up fgs it was a bit of tongue in cheek fun :roll:
what a load of shit
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