Chav Jokes

1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it’s great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.

7. You’re in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike.

8. What’s the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One’s thick and hairy, the other’s a coconut.

9. What’s the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin’ at?”

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who’s driving? The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE’s? A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they’ll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, “That’s some uvver bleeders job innit.”

21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn’t mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova’s window in the car wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?” – The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”

25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? Society.

26. A housing officer is helping a chav fill in a form and asks for the name of her children. “hum – Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne”. The housing officer questions the practicalities of calling all your children by the same name. The chav replies “It’s great. If I want them to come in I just have to shout Wayne, your tea’s ready and they all come together”. The housing officer says “yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak to one of them”. “Easy, I call him by his surname”.