dictionary for decoding women’s personal ads

@pepsi wrote:

Subject: Fwd: DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
OK – old but still funny…

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish……………………………..49.
Adventurous……………………..Slept with everyone.
Athletic……………………………No breasts.
Average looking…………………Moooo.
Beautiful………………………….Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure…………….On medication.
Feminist…………………………..Fat.
Free Spirit………………………..Junkie.
Friendship first…………………..Former Slut.
New-Age………………………….Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned……………………No B.J.’s
Open-minded……………………Desperate.
Outgoing………………………….Loud and embarrassing.
Professional………………………sweetie.
Voluptuous………………………Very fat.
Large frame………………………Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate…………………Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
Yes…………………………………No
No………………………………….Yes
Maybe……………………………..No
We need………………………….I want
I am sorry………………………..You’ll be sorry
We need to talk…………………You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead………………….You better not
Do what you want………………You will pay for this later
I am not upset…………………..Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You’re attentive tonight…………Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN’S ENGLISH:
I am hungry…………………………….I am hungry
I am sleepy……………………………..I am sleepy
I am tired……………………………….I am tired
Nice dress………………………………Nice cleavage!
I love you……………………………….Let’s have sex now
I am bored……………………………..Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?……………….I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?…………….I’d like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?………I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?……….I’d like to have sex with you.
I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit…………..I’m gay.

Damn, you’ve caught US men out.. You’re ever so right.. Is it too late to change?.. :lol: