GRAVY

so as we know im a northern boy,and norvern boys just luurve their gravy ,esp on chips,but to the suvvern softies its abhorrent to them,i was at a bury v southend game recently,and the southend fans were singing in an appalling ee bah gum accent,they tried to put gravy on my chips and I said no,no,no

no mention of black puddings tho,which incidentally bury is famous for.

so this intrepid reporter has decided to interview a few southerners about their hatred of gravy on chips,heres how it went to a cross mix

me,”hi mate gravy on chips you like?

cm. “no”

me “why”?

cm “cos its a northern thing mate like ferrets and whippets and pigeons  you uncouth norvern vermin”

moving on

cm 2

“alright luv,chips and gravy what do you reckon like”

cm2 “is that your attempt at a chat up line you northern piece of scum,,get out of my face you prick”

undaunted after much abuse I spoke to cm 14 who seemed delighted to talk to me,camp looking fellow wrists as limp as lettuce,but nice guy.

me,”so do you put gravy on yer chips buddy boy”?

cm14,eeewwww no,no way dahlink

me “why not”?

#cm14 “because gravy makes your chips all soft and limp, whereas I like hard ones”

me,”yeh but say you have a sunday dinner surely gravy is a vital component”?

cm “ah but that’s different my little treacle”

#”me “why is it its still potatoes that your pouring gravy over”

cm14,”yes but roast potatoes are firm a bit like your buttocks,do you fancy coming for a drink my train isn’t due till 10 oclock”

I politely declined his  offer,and went to the chippy instead where I bought steak pudding chips mushy peas and a large size cup of gravy …oh and a barm cake

so the battle rages on with the north/south divide

gravy on chips yes or no?

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