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Posts
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hows this for a little less serious? ;)
I wish I was a glow worm,
a glow worm is never glum.
‘cos how can you be grumpy,
when the sun shines out your bum :DI am a little rabbit
a sittin in me hutch
i’m sitting down this end
cos i dont like that end much
im glad tommorows thursday
cos i’m feelin right fed up
do you know why im glad its thursday
thats the day they pass the buck! ;)Are You Talking To Me?
“Are you talking to me?” she said passing by
“Yes, you … you … next to the bald-headed guy,
“I think you’re real gorgeous … that flaming red hair
Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare.“I love the way that it curls round your face,
And the way that it seems your ears to embrace,
And the way that it darkens the green of your eyes,
And the way on your cheek that a loose tendril lies.”She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride,
Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide,
She smiled as she whipped the wig from her head,
“If you like it so much, here, you wear it instead.”Copyright; Pat Cannard
Bedtime Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep.One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
Who’s not afraid to admit when he is wrongOne who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn’t wait six weeks.I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won’t lose his cool when he’s annoyed.Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask “How fat is my behind?”One who’ll make love till my body’s a’ itchin’
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.Thank you in advance and now I’ll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it’s too late.Amen
Author Unknown
Estranged
I accept that I’m abnormal,
That is … different from the rest,
Unlike most other robots,
I put normality to the test,
Being born a female,
Was definitely not my choice,
My gender has always been a hurdle,
But I like my singing voice.With tattoos on my shaven head,
Of my Staffies … left and right,
There is no doubt when threatened,
Which bitch will actually bite.
I know I’m not a Lesbian,
Although I’ve known a few,
And I’ve slept with enough women,
To negate that point of view.But you’d have to cut off more than my hair,
For me to lose my interest in men,
Who generally don’t look my way,
But I have sex now and then.
It’s sometimes lonely when you’re different,
But I’m prepared to pay the price,
Because to lose my individuality,
Would be far too great a sacrifice.Robyn Scott
If I had a Rich Man
If I had a rich man,
Deiger deiger deidle deiger deidle deiger diedle dum,
All day long I’d sit upon my bum,
If I had a wealthy man …
I … wouldn’t have to work hard,
Bugger rising early every day for work before the Sun,
If I had a really bloody rich,
Heavy wallet … Tiger of a man.I’d trade my soul for wealth and trivial possessions,
I’d prostitute myself for jewels and gold,
A Maid … A Cook … A Gardener to mow my lawn.
My dogs and I would live … high on the hog,
Each day we would swim and run and play,
Sleep till lunch … and party until dawn.I’d liberate myself from the Hippy Commune,
Buy a freehold block bordering a National Park,
With no-one else polluting my water supply,
No nosy neighbours straining their ears … then complaining,
About noise … every time I sneeze or fart …
Invading privacy … and spreading malicious lies.If I had a rich man,
I’d get a truckload of VIAGRA so I wouldn’t have to stray,
I’d hire a Nurse in case of Cardiac Arrest,
For when I put the VIAGRA to the test,
At first he’d believe that he’d been truly blessed,
If I had a wealthy man.!.!.!.Copyright; Robyn Scott
Internet Men
Won’t somebody help me please
It’s getting so I’m on my knees
I’m thirty now and without a man
Out the window went my childhood planI should now be married to a sex god
But here I stand, still on my tod
I should have had a couple of kids
Reality sucks and I’m on the skids!!Without a man I feel bereft
There aren’t that many options left
And so it’s my keyboard that I stroke
To surf the net to find a bloke!!I can wait no longer on the shelf
I must move forward and by myself
So with anticipation I double click
Fingers crossed – don’t want no pr*ck!!But how do I know if they’re for real?
As they keep me guessing with their spiel
Tall, dark, handsome and very rich
Means fat, poor, lonely and a titch!!How can I find that one Mr Right
When internet dates are such a fright?
They all seem wierd – I don’t mean to moan
Maybe I’m better off on my own………..Howie
Panties
She wanted embroidered on pants and her bra
a message that told him that he’d gone too far.
A motif that told him
“If you can read this, You’re much too close, so give it a miss.”“Certainly Modom,” the saleslady said.
“In what kind of script would you like it read?
Copperplate? San Serif? Bold wouldn’t fail.”
She thought for a moment and then she said… “Braille.”Roger Wooller
Have you ever had the feeling you were talking to yourself.
thanks cath :) im less grumpy after those ..still…its early days,no doubt I shall be back in full “grump” later on today ;) xx
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